Love N Marriage Go Together Like
by TaelorTot
Summary: One Shot. Short story, straight to the point, Hellboy goes to Hell and sees his very 'estranged' kinfolk. characters based on comics N myths. From HB's POV. Its' good people so R&R. Please. Don't make me get on my knees. You'll like it! comicverse!


-**Love N' Marriage Go Together Like...****  
****TaelorTot**

**N/A: **this short story i had been working on a long time. I was thinking about turning it into something longer w/ Persephone n stuff but i decided not too. I always thought it would be interesting to see how Hellboy would interact with relatives. Not something sappy like 'someone shows up on his door-step knocking' but you know... something to do with his 'demon' family, if he has one. This story could have really went far with all the demon characters i created from legends but I decided to let this be like my 'pilot', so if you like it R&R. Also, when i started i didn't realize Professor bruttenholm (i'm a comic lover, the movie is canon to me) had already died before 1997, so i had to change a few things so if you see any him/he where it should be her/she for Kate, that's why. So if i didn't catch it don't eat me!!!  
R&R please, the reader is always appreciated.  
Also, i had some time to go back and correct all spelling & grammer errors. Who-Sha.

* * *

**Arizona, B.P.R.D Field Operations Office, Wednesday, 1:22 A.M.  
Feburary 20th, 1997**

I didn't understand the secrecy of the BPRD. So what if some lunatics from Germany were trying to open a back-door portal to "Hell", what did it have to do with secrecy? Shouldn't you warn the world about that? As you can tell, I don't get out a lot.

The name is Perseus Mallek. Weird name, I know. My dad was Slavic and my mom was Polish. They found a way to settle their 'cultural' differences and married. So they moved to America and I was the first born out of five kids and the unlucky one. I was named after my uncle who had just died two weeks before my birth.  
Yay me.

So anyway, I was lucky to get pretty good schooling but I was no jock. I hated calculus in school so I was no nerd. I became a computer geek, and proud to say it though my new agent friends would soon tell me there is nothing to brag about. I graduated, went to college. Bill Gates was my hero, and Sony electronics, my confidantes. I was a geek wrapped up in a world full of 000111000001011's and comic conventions, oblivious to what I read about mutants, demons and ghouls was far too real and too close to reality.  
I soon found out the day I applied for a government job.

They asked did I have any immediate family I spent a lot of time with and I said, no, my kin were back in Rhode Island. They asked was I married, no, did I have any children, no, and if something were to happen who should they contact.  
"What?" I snarled, annoyed by so many questions, "Am I gonna die or something?"  
"Some-tin' like that." answered the gentleman interviewing me.  
I did a double-take but he smiled politely and moved on to the next question, "What do you know about the tabloid myth, Hellboy?"

I hunched my shoulders, "Nothing."  
After that question there weren't many more that are worth repeating but I got a call a day later saying I got the job and I was to pack up any personal belongings and catch a flight to Arizona where my station would be located. I complained that the application said nothing about moving but the person on the other line merely hung up. So I griped but I was on a 10 o'clock flight to Phoenix, Arizona the next morning.  
When I arrived a man in black was waving a sign with my name on it. He took my bags, led me to a car and we were off. The drive was long and I fell asleep.  
Usually someone would say, "Man that's a dumb idea", because everybody believed on the desert outskirts of Arizona there were aliens.  
Well, they were close.

I woke up at a small grey box base and a man greeted me. He said his name was Virgil Hancock (snicker) and that he was a temporary supervisor of Field Operations at the BPRD base in Arizona and New Mexico. I was still half asleep so I nodded and asked, "Wha?"  
Virgil smiled and took me by the hand like a naive child. He explained the purpose of the BPRD which was "_protecting America and the world from the occult, paranormal and supernatural." _Of course it didn't make a lick of sense at first but I went along with it. I received a room with a bunk bed (I was sharing the room with my now good friend, Fred Bervic) and free breakfast, lunch and dinners.  
Virgil took me to my work station, a room full of computers, wires and other technological stuff that hadn't even come out until the new millennium. He said my job was to keep up the computers, update and program certain programs that would help _'organize the BPRD branches many reports and accomplishments.'  
_I said, "Hurray!" to myself but it was all really weird because I felt they weren't telling me all of it. It got even stranger when Virgil came up to my room that night with contract for me to sign saying I wouldn't give away any secrets.

wtf?

I signed, and after he left I used my room phone to call my mom. I told her I was in Arizona, that I had got a job at Microsoft (which has always been my dream) and that I was sorry to have left on such short notice. Mom didn't care; she just hoped that I meet some nice girl who could cook. I sent my best regards to my dad and siblings and hung up the phone. So what to do now?

Daily life.

My life became the room known as 'Geek Central' by the other agents. I made friends quick because everybody wanted me to fix their goddamn laptops. Fred and I became good friends to and for a while, things seemed fine.

Until the system crashed.  
That was a hell of a week.  
We never figured out what happened or why it crashed but Virgil had his foot up our asses to get it fixed. So me and Fred stayed up four nights in a row cracking codes and going into the system saving the little data that was left. And out of this data were files named _''"._

I was curious, beyond curious. Whenever our agent buddies went on their little missions, they'd return with a file already downloaded and on a disk. Fred would upload and send the data to some program we could never get into without permission and a password from some lady named Corrigan. And that was the weird part. A woman named Kate Corrigan was the director over the Field Operations but she was in Connecticut. So why did he have a program all the way over here?  
Fred and I discussed it in our room that night.

"Maybe because Dillard and Richmond can't hand this Corrigan lady a written report in person so that program just emails them."  
"Well that's the weird part," I whispered, "They're reports. What could Dillard and the other guys be doing that soooo secret?"  
"I don't know," Fred yawned, "But I wish you'd shut up so I can go to sleep."  
So I did and rolled over to my left. Whatever these reports were about they were indeed secret. It bothered me that I had no idea what they were about and it would bother me the rest of my life that even though I was in the BPRD, no one ever told me the _real _secret that surpassed even the shock of Hellboy's existence.  
I snuck out of my room that night and read those files. It was a shock and the last time I would ever take ghost stories lightly.  
There was a real Hell and it was more complex than someone walking around on fire constantly paying for their past sins. This Hell was run by a monarchy and the Old Emperor had just died or--was so called 'murdered'--and the new Emperor was Hellboy's own half-brother.

* * *

**Hell's New York**  
_Excerpts from Hellboy's report, Years overdue, with Chocolate Frosting on it..._

**P**erhaps it was day to face the truth about my origins and life. I was Hellboy. I was a demon or demon-like, whatever you want to call it. I had ox-blood skin, yellow eyes and a tail but I was well-mannered and I liked pancakes. Simple. But there was more to it. My mom was a witch and my dad was some prince in Sheol or... Hell. Wherever that was.  
And in this Hell, there was a capital named Pandemonium and all the demons, spirits, monsters, ghouls, ghost... etc lived their in houses, apartments and on streets like life in this world...  
And in Hell were portals that led to many untouched dimensions and most were sealed by the Old Gods who, at the time were the New Gods who had sealed Older Gods away. So there was more to this place called Sheol... or Hell. My home.  
No.  
My home was here in Fairfield, Connecticut where I could get pancakes at 2:13 in the morning. And afternoon. Who-sha.

So the day the Kate came to my room alone with a black folder thick with papers and a frown I knew something was wrong.  
"Kate." I automatically said trying to sit up properly because I was watching a NBC remake of Sleeping Beauty in my Lazy-Boy.  
She didn't meet my eyes; she closed the door behind herself and sat at my table. I chose to stand up and I waited for her to say something.  
"Hellboy..." she said, "It's been a long day."  
"Huh?"

She handed me the file, "We need you to go to Hell."  
At first I thought she was joking with me. I've had plenty of people to tell me to go to hell, but I never thought I'd be going literally. My brow rose curiously expecting her to crack a smile but her upper lip merely twitched.  
"What am I going to Hell for?"  
"To kill the Nazis."

I sucked through my teeth, "Clear and simple."  
"They found a portal in Poland three days ago that leads to the so-called Capital of Hell. We didn't know about the place where the portal was located but we believe that the Nazis think it would take them to release the Ogdru Jahad."  
I snorted but it was suppose to be a chuckle, "Didn't they already try that?"  
"And you turned out to be a wonderful exchange." said Kate.

"So if the portal leads to Hell, what do you think they'll do there?"  
"Find other portals and release vicious sorrow upon the world." Kate said opening the file. She pulled out a drawing of what to expect.  
"A premonition, drawn by a physic."  
"Can we really trust psychics anymore?"  
"I'm serious Hellboy. You must get to Hell and stop them."  
I sighed as my tail unconsciously curled around my right arm. Kate watched it curl. From around her neck he took her necklace with a cross, the one she always wore on missions.  
"We don't know how long it'll take for you to find them and what they're armed with but I have called in favors and I have received blessed objects I want you to take."  
"Kate I always carry--"  
She wouldn't let me finish but she stood on her tippy toes. I leaned down to let her put the necklace on my neck and she patted my chest.  
"These are stronger. I know."

I didn't want to argue with her so I nodded. She brought the stuff to me then I was on a jet heading for Africa.  
The professor had guessed that the portals opened by the stretch of an invisible moon. Three nights ago it was a full moon. Tonight it would be a waning crescent. Tomorrow night, a new moon. We had to move fast.

* * *

**A**frica was hot.  
It's always hot.  
But not the kind of humid hot I suffered in when we visited Texas, so I couldn't complain.  
I had arrived about 3 that afternoon and a native villager owned a jeep he let me rent it if I traded him manual labor. All I had to do was pick up one of his older cows and move it to the barn. I liked the cow, it's name was Biddy. I'm glad I didn't get attached to Biddy because she was going to be slaughtered that evening. Poor Biddy. Maybe if I had left her in the field to graze she'd be with us right now.  
Sigh.

Anyway I took the jeep out to the destination I was given. It was twenty miles into the freaking desert. So I rode out, did some stunts over a sand dune and saw some snakes slithering behind me. I was having loads of fun. I finally arrived to my destination, a boulder.  
I felt a bit stupid for not bringing more water but that's another thing.  
A boulder.  
A big ass rock.

A local medicine man was sitting by the boulder under a white umbrella. He had his pots and a trunk with him as he played a hand-made flute. I turned off the noisy engine watched him respectively from a distance before he ended his song and looked up. He hollered at me in his native tongue and I hunched.  
"Come, come." he gestured and I came and sat under his umbrella.  
"You the one who called me?" he said in his thick accent.  
"It was my father."  
"You know we cannot open the portal till tonight?"  
"Yes I know."  
"Then you sit with me and listen to me play."  
"...yes."  
"What about my payment?" he asked cocking an eyebrow. I smiled and reached into my coat.  
"I know what you want." I murmured and pulled out three cans of sardines, "BAM!"

The medicine man rocked in place speaking in his native tongue and reached for the cans but I tucked them gently back into my coat.  
"Let me see that portal first before you can eat your crummy sardines."  
The medicine man muttered something but he placed his flute to his mouth before I had time to ask him to repeat that.  
I listened and watched the sun go down. Around five thirty the temperature started to drop and the medicine man took a handmade coat out of his trunk with a white patch sown on the front stating he loved New York.  
"I can tell that you get around." I said pointing at his jacket. He pulled the collar around his neck and nodded, "Me sister got if for me."  
"Right..."  
7 P.M. The sun was down and the moon was nowhere to be seen. The medicine man stood up suddenly and ordered me to drag his trunk closer to the boulder.  
The boulder was about nine feet. I had no idea how a boulder got in the middle of the desert unless some forgotten ruins was buried under the sand and the boulder was merely the pinky finger from a larger statue. I didn't ask either. The medicine man stood in front of it and felt the smooth texture before he started chanting. His chant was long and breathe-taking; literally, he ran out of breathe after speaking it once. I watched and after a few minutes he seemed to be in a trance, his head rocking back and forth and his hands moving side to side like windshield wipers. Finally after an hour of this he turned to me, his eyes as red as my skin, "Hand me the bottle."  
"Bottle, bottle..." I repeated and flipped open the trunk. There were a million bottles!  
"Which one New York?"  
"Ah the one with the blue tag."  
I picked a green champagne bottle with a blue tag but it said Hennessy misspelled on the front. When he wasn't looking I stuffed it into my pocket. He owed me for those two hours I had to sit and listen to him play off key. I finally found the bottle. It was made out of ivory with inscriptions of an old language carved deep into the front. I handed him the bottle and he swung it into the boulder. Ivory went flying and I covered my eyes. When I peeked between two fingers I saw that the front of the boulder was completely wet.  
Now Mister New York's body was in the chanting groove. His eyes were closed as if he was concentrating and I began to feel weird. It was a feeling, as if my soul was being sucked towards the boulder. I stood back further away and finally I saw an opening.

The opening of the portal was like in the cartoons-- as if someone from the other side was unzipping it. It took it forever to open and finally it reached the tip and the boulder was consumed. Mister New York stepped back and shouted, "This the last time this portal will be open man, how you gonna get back?"  
"I'll find a way New York!" I shouted and tossed him the cans of sardines. He smiled and nodded, "See you then!"  
I took a deep breathe and collected me thoughts. It wasn't that I've never travelled through dimensions before; I was always unconscious or asleep when I did. I looked inside and it was completely black, cold, and void. I looked behind me and saw the medicine man collecting his things ready to scram.  
"Do you live in the village?" I shouted pointing the way I came.  
He nodded, "I visit from time to time."  
"Go to that village in three days and if I'm not back you call the man who called you."  
He nodded, "Yah, I do dat for you man."  
Now I felt a bit guilty about taking his Hennessy and I turned back around to face my mission. I stepped in and I felt as if I was falling through air.  
Who knows where I would land but I became unconscious (surprise, surprise) and woke up to a boy with fungi growing out of his neck, poking me with a stick.

* * *

"Hey, hey!" I shouted breaking the stick. The boy hollered, startled, and took a step back.  
I stood up, hit my head, and fell back down rubbing the sore spot. The boy stared at me curiously until I looked up and realized that I was under a dwarf bridge. I balanced myself on all fours before I finally asked, "Kid, where are we?"  
"I'm from the east bank of the Cocytus River sir." he hissed, "you are in the river bed of Eridanos."  
I looked around; apparently the water had dried up some time ago because it was a dump place. The boy stepped closer to me, "Where'd you come from?"  
I didn't answer him but told him to move out of my way. I crawled from under the dwarf bridge and stood up to rub my back. If I had landed here it was a dumb spot to land because I saw nothing but wilderness. The ground was red, dry, and rocky like the desert in Southern California. A large red sun was beating on our heads too. No cactus, no beetles, just misery.

I personally didn't care to stay here any longer so I asked, "Have you seen any humans around?"  
The boy gave me a puzzled look. He himself had grey, dried scaly skin and a bald head with yellow eyes and orange pupils. Duh dumb ass, he wouldn't know what a human looks like. I took out a cigarette and lit it before I asked, "Well kid, where's the nearest town?"  
He appeared excited to finally answer a question, "Pandemonium's fifty miles, that way!"  
He was pointing north and I groaned. I had landed too far away.  
I continued to look around and finally asked, "Kid, why are you out here?"  
The boy started to rock on his heels, "We're going to Pandemonium too for the wedding."  
"What wedding?" I asked.  
"The wedding between Queen Kora and Emperor Anung Sabah Oz!"  
I froze. I new the first part of that name, Anung. It was the first part of my name, Anung um Rama.  
A powerful name.  
The boy didn't notice my reaction but he kept smiling.  
"When's the wedding?" I asked.  
"In two days." the boy said, "Everyone is required to come and cheer in the streets of Pandemonium--everyone, even us from Hades."  
Hades? Hell? Sheol? Weren't they the same thing? I nodded as if I knew, "Where are your folks?"  
He pointed over the river's edge and I peeked. They were travelling in what resembled a gypsy cart, visibly only big enough for one person to fit in. It was being pulled by a horse or... a dead horse. It's skin was black and decayed, missing one eye and the other one sunk in the socket.  
"You think your folks would mind if I tagged along?"  
The boy shook his head no, "Mama won't mind."  
I peeked over the river's edge again and saw an overweight blue-skinned demon woman with pointy ears and teeth to match. Her husband, I presume, was a skinny guy normal looking guy with one wing, which was injured. I climbed over the river's edge and pulled Fungi Boy up with me. They spotted me of course and both hissed but saw their son riding on my shoulders. The mother called to him in her language and he answered in rapid speed apparently telling them how he had met me. I stopped and let Fungi Boy down gently and he ran into his mother's arms.  
Finally, after more talking, the mother said to me, "You can travel with us but you have to walk. There is no room for you to sleep."  
"Thanks."

So we started our long journey to Pandemonium. Fungi Boy climbed inside of the gypsy cart while his ma and pa sat at the front guiding the horse. I walked on the side of the cart; the horse wasn't moving to fast, probably because ma was too damn big. As we walked I could hear them talking, ma and pa, in another language, whispering about me.  
I felt for my gun just in-case they tried anything but I didn't know my way around and I don't think I would've survived without them. The walk was long and tiring and by the time we reached the outskirts of the city, I was exhausted. The environment of the outskirts didn't make it any better. The desert terrain had turned into the base of an active volcano.  
Lava rivers flowed everywhere and it was hot. Even hotter than Africa plus humidity. How in Hell do you have humidity in Hell? There's no moisture in the air?

I didn't complain because ma and pa were watching me closely. Finally, when the horse trudged up a steep volcanic hill (poor horse, and he can't even die) I saw the city. Pandemonium. It well-deserved its name.

* * *

**I** don't remember much after that because I was too tired. I think I walked--or was carried to the inn I slept in that evening but when I did wake up ma, pa and Fungi Boy weren't there. I checked my pockets and pants to make sure they didn't steal anything and I sat up in a room badly decorated with magenta curtains clashing against oxblood wallpaper. The bed I was laying on had a funky smell and I quickly got out of it realizing that maybe this inn was the equivalent to a cheap motel for hookers.  
Brushing my front off I dared to look outside and I was in the suburbia part of Pandemonium. The streets were empty and I figured everyone was at that wedding or something, so I left the room. I went to the lobby where a woman wearing robes older than Jesus sat at a table.  
"Hey," I said startling her. I have that effect, even in hell?  
The woman pulled her shawl over her mouth hissing and I realized by the jewels and rings she was wearing, she was a witch, so I backed off.  
"Can you just tell me what's going on?"  
"What are you talking about my lord?"  
"Lord?"  
"Perhaps I can clear some of this up for you, Hellboy."  
I knew that voice. Before he could slip out of the shadows with his creepy snake, I had my gun cocked and ready to blow Astaroth's head off. The grand duke himself didn't smile or appear happy to see me. The witch scattered behind her desk as Astaroth gestured for me to put the gun away, "I am not here to hurt you sire."  
"Don't call me that." I snarled.  
"But it is true, the Beast of the Apocalypse rules Pandemonium."  
"That's not me." I said, "I made my choice. I want nothing to do with you."  
"Then why are you here Hellboy? Why have you returned?" Astaroth asked. He watched my looking for a sign that I had changed my mind. I lowered my gun a bit (at angle that if he did try something I'd be able to shot him in the pelvis) and cocked my head to the side, "I'm looking for some Nazis."  
"Explain."  
So I told Astaroth the story, simply that I was here to find those damn dimension travelling Nazis. He listened stroking his snake as it coiled around his legs and arms. When I stopped he answered, "They're dead."  
"Really?" I asked.  
Astaroth nodded, "They couldn't take the heat."  
I cocked an eyebrow, "I can't take the heat."  
"But you are not human; no matter how hard you try to be. Their mortal bodies exploded in flames the minute their feet touched the burning ground. Your skin and body is made to endure this kind of heat but if you had stayed here you'd be use to it--"  
"Don't give me that bull crap Astaroth, now tell me the truth. Where are the Nazis?"  
"If you do not believe me follow me to the palace." Astaroth instructed and opened the door to the outside. I glanced with my gun still up and shoved it in it's holder. Astaroth waited for me to walk in front of him and I snorted, "You try anything I'll kill you."  
He nodded and I stepped out into the hot sun of hell. Astaroth led the way through alleys, hidden streets and even an ivy court yard that was lifeless. I didn't ask why we were taking so many hidden ways because I truly didn't care. At least I was out of the sun.

We arrived to the palace in Pandemonium, which I know you want me to describe, so I'll give the most-brief description I can. It was tall, made from red brick and mud but had the texture of iron and steel surrounded by a short fortress where demonic soulless soldiers guarded the front gates. Gargoyles sat on the roof and on the edges of the castle, ugly and short, and from what I could tell were green and red plants for decoration outside each door. There were servants in the court yard and at the front a fountain that had no water in it but a statue of an unnamed demon.  
Astaroth led me through an old passageway through the kitchen which was busy with cakes, and pies and other delicacies. We went up an alternative stairway and down another into a chamber room. Now I was getting paranoid. Where was Astaroth taking me?

I stopped when we reach yet another flight of stairs going into a dark chamber, and Astaroth halted to look at me.  
"Is there something wrong Hellboy?"  
"I don't like this one bit Astaroth, why are you taking me down here?"  
"Human remains are kept down here for study."  
Okay. That was a bit confusing. I followed thinking it over and I realized: humans dissect animals, plants, aliens and even other humans. Why can't demons do it too?  
Finally we came to yet another door, but this one was made out of steel. I watched as Astaroth unlock elaborate switches and locks and the door slid up for us to view a room like a torture chamber. There I saw a human skeleton hanging upside down chained to the wall, a guy's head nailed to the floor and skin that was skinned off a fellow to look like a coat. I covered my nose too because of the smell and Astaroth walked further into a dark corner and brought five body bags. He opened each one up so I could see burnt victims with their jaws still intact because their skin had melted like glue. I covered my mouth now, about to lose it and I saw on one of the unlucky bastard's jacket, the Nazi insignia.  
"Is this enough proof for you?" Astaroth asked.  
I nodded and asked if he would zip up the body bags so we could get out of this hell hole.  
We left the dungeon part of the palace and Astaroth led me to the eastern halls talking about the palace's history, but I was still to disgusted to care or listen.  
Now we were standing in what I assumed was the great hall. the pillars were made of out ivory and about twenty-five feet tall. the floor was red tile (very fancy) and the walls were smooth with the same texture like those houses you see in Mexico. It was decorated with wedding stuff; flowers (which were actually withering but still alive) white bells, shawls, tables and other knickknacks.  
I was in awe that a place in hell could look as decent and Astaroth threw a yet another bomb at me (not literally), "Your brother is getting married tomorrow."  
"Repeat that."

* * *

**I **learned that afternoon in my room (who knew I had such a sweet suite in Hell) that Anung Shabah Oz was one of my younger brothers. I knew I had siblings (my father is a demon, I'm pretty sure he was a rolling stone as well) but I didn't care to know them. I'd probably end up kicking their asses anyway. If I hadn't known any better I would've assumed they were after me like the rest of the mythical-demonic world but Astaroth explained differently.  
"Here in Pandemonium, you are... celebrity."  
"That's a funny world coming from you."  
"You are seen as the Beast of the Apocalypse, the World Destroyer, The Right Hand of Doom the--"  
"OKAY! I get it!"  
"The Son of the Fallen One..." Astaroth finished. "It's a sad thing that you don't know most of your family's history Hellboy; you are clueless."  
"And proud to be!"  
"If you knew what had happened, you would understand why this wedding is important and why it affects your future, sire..." Astaroth cooed.

I didn't correct him on calling me sire because I was curious.  
"What does...? Oz have to do with me?"

"After you left Hell to be born again on Earth for the Apocalypse, the inhabitants of Pandemonium and all of Hell were happy knowing soon they would have what was rightfully theirs. As you know that foolish Rasputin lost you to Trevor Bruttenholm and they have turned you against us--"  
"You're cruising for a bruising pal."  
"By feeding you pancakes!--and we knew you'd never return willingly so the power of the Sheol shifted to your grandfather's in-laws! Big war happened, famine, misery, pain, anguish and through all of this my only job was to watch you. Now his in-laws were from Hades."  
"Where?" I asked.  
"Hades and Hell are two different regions Hellboy. The riverbed you were found in, Eridanos dried up many eons ago and it was the only safe way to Hades. Now many have to take the other four rivers which lead to Styx which will take you straight into Hades. Hades is different from Hell. It is cooler, calmer, has blue fire. The royals of Hades hate us and they were happy when power suddenly shifted to Pluto, their king. Your grandfather was slain and his spirit sealed in a bottle that Pluto dropped into the great abyss pit of Tartarus with the Titian gods. We were upset but couldn't fight. We had a shortage of troops, weapons, etc and we accepted the shift reluctantly.  
So for a very long time Pluto reigned and we remained unhappy until recently. Pluto went missing."

I stared bemused, "How does a God go missing?"  
Astaroth smiled, "He had a little accident."  
"Right...you guys did something with him didn't you?"  
"He may have met the same fate as your grandfather, maybe."  
"Maybe."  
"And since Hell or Hades neither have a king, your brother stepped up and became emperor uniting all the regions of Hell and Hades."  
"That sounds difficult. This was planned."  
"Perhaps."  
"And now your brother will take Pluto's wife, Kora as his queen!"  
I stared at my palm counting in my head and trying to remember the names of the Greek/Roman gods, "Isn't Kora, Persephone?"  
"That's what the dimwits in Hades call her. Here, she is Kora!"  
"Fine, man." I said. Then, "How did you find me Astaroth?"  
"That family you were travelling with came to me. It seems the father was a fallen angel and he knew who you were but didn't want you to run off. They said you fainted when you reached the inn because you were dehydrated. They had to find water--I paid them in full and told they told me they got you a room at their own expense and left."  
"That was sweet of them--and I thought they hated me."  
"You are a celebrity here... a shining star of hope that one day--"  
"I get it Astaroth."  
"Is there anything else you need to know my lord?"  
"Yeah, I need more water and stop calling me _"my lord.""_  
"Yes, _sire_." Astaroth said and went to the door. He stopped before opening it and turned to look at me, "Would you like to meet your brother?"  
"No."  
"I will send up proper clothes for you to attend the wedding tomorrow morning. It'll be quick but its the first major political wedding in about three million years so it's important."  
"I'll attend, but I don't want others to know I am here."  
"Fine." Astaroth said.  
"And another thing," said I, "Is any loony bat gonna try and jump on me if I leave this room?"  
"They couldn't if they tried." Astaroth said looking at my chest. I glanced down and saw the cross necklace I had been wearing since I arrived.  
"Even if _I_ wanted to harm you I couldn't. That symbol means something, _even in Hell_."

* * *

**I**stayed for the wedding. Astaroth got me a seat in an opera box above the wedding where I could see everything. I was alone in there, by myself like I asked. If it was true what Astaroth said about my celebrity here then it was best for me to stay out of the public eye--not that anyone would recognize me unless they saw my arm because there were a lot of seven foot red guys with tails and horns walking around. I didn't get dressed for it and I cocked my feet up as the maid of honor, flower girl and the other chess pieces of the wedding strutted down the isle in black & red.  
I even saw Anung Shabah Oz. He was about 5'11, (short for us demons), with spiky silver hair, silver goatee mustache and a pair of beady yellow eyes. His suit or armor had horns growing from the shoulder pads which would make it dangerous to stand on his sides.  
Finally, I heard the music. The crowd below me stood up as the bride came down the isle alone. I guess Zeus couldn't make the wedding.

Kora or Persephone was pretty attractive. She was statuesque (way taller than Oz), long hair between the shades of chestnut and golden blonde. She had the pointy Roman nose you see on statues and fair beige skin. She also had a glow about her that was pretty even in that ugly black dress she was wearing. I guess she was no virgin.  
Anyway, I watched them be wed as an alliance. Finally, when the guy said "You may kiss your bride", Anung Shabah Oz couldn't wait to stick his tongue down her throat and I could see the disgust in Persephone's expression. His lips were glued against hers before the guy could finish his sentence and Persephone held back the reaction to slap him.  
Everyone stood up applauding and I felt a heavy presence behind me. I stood to see Astaroth with his snake.  
"You scared me."  
"It is done." he said, "I can rest now."  
"That's wonderful." I replied sarcastically, "Now can you tell me where the next portal to Earth will be open?"  
"About midnight. You should got to the reception and congratulate your brother."  
I snorted and looked away but then a thought popped into my head.  
"Since I'm 'the beast of the Apocalypse or whatever it is..."  
"Yes?"  
"That would make me a King here wouldn't it?"  
Astaroth smiled, "I'm glad you realize that."  
"Which would dock Ozzie down there to a prince or duke causing a bunch of drama I don't need right now."  
Astaroth couldn't help but continue to smile.  
"You sly bastard. You're trying to get me killed!"  
"No!" Astaroth protested, "Of course not!"  
"Huh?"

Astaroth sighed and sat in my seat.  
"You are the real ruler of Hell and Hades; it should be you down there with Kora and not Anung Shabah Oz."  
"That's your fault for placing him as your king."  
"No it's not." Astaroth, " Anung Shabah Oz was the only one able to where the crown. Only a male from the bloodline can wear the crown, see?"  
I looked over the balcony to see a flaming crown floating over Anung Shabah Oz's head.  
"That's mine."  
"Correct." Astaroth said, "But since you have left Hell and you have not completed your destiny, Anung Shabah Oz holds the crown unless he is ridden of by a male opponent from Pluto's family or you finish what was started by the Nazis."  
"I told you I have no interest in ending the world. What for? Life's great there!"  
"You will continue to fight your destiny until your last breathe. Even with you death the hand can still cause the Apocalypse. Do not forget that."

I left the balcony to walk and think. Many of the wedding guests were heading to the reception hall which was three times bigger than the Grand Hall. I walked through crowds of demons, golems and monsters dancing and laughing and having a good time. If I were to cause the Apocalypse, this would be my prize? A king of Hell, fitting in with these monsters who saw me as their equal and not an 'Honorary Human'. Persephone would be my prize, a fair queen snatched away from her mother so many years ago and forced to grow up to judge the dead. And this palace, these people... Persephone.  
It was all too tempting.

By now that bride and groom had joined the party, Persephone dressed in a more Roman like white dress with gold trimming and wearing her own crown while Anung Shabah Oz grinned stupidly.  
I was standing by the wedding cake poking my finger in the icing when she finally saw me. Persephone, she gave me an Archaic smile and waved shyly my way. I nodded and turned my back to it all.  
I left the reception hall and returned to the balcony where Astaroth was.  
"Where's a portal to earth?"  
"Another will open tonight in the courtyard. You can leave then, if you like."

* * *

**B**efore the portal opened, Persephone came to visit me. I think Astaroth arranged it. She came quietly, peeking behind a tree before I saw here.  
"Hi." I said.  
"Hello, Hellboy," She said breathlessly.  
I could tell she didn't know what to say but I turned face forward so I'd look less intimidating with my back to her. She was beautiful but she had a glossy glaze.  
"I came to thank you for coming to the wedding."  
"Ah, it was nothing."  
"Anung Shabah Oz does not know you are here." Persephone whispered, "He'd be upset if he knew."  
"Well that's what happens when you're not the crowned prince."  
Persephone continued to smile shyly but she had a boldness about her that was elegant and womanly. Finally she said what she had come to say, "Astaroth told me to ask you to stay here tonight and to do whatever I needed to seduce you."  
I cocked an eyebrow, "On your wedding night?"  
"But I am refusing to do so; I have come to tell you to continue what you're doing."

The expression on my face must've given it away that I was shocked, "If you fulfill your destiny, hell will be earth. These demons will rise and destroy everything those humans have created and chaos will ruin the land. Those earthlings do not deserve such a fate, earth is too beautiful to ruin. I know I was once a maiden in the fields picking flowers before Pluto took me away"  
I realized then she once dwelled on earth like the rest of the Gods and that the world she once knew of peace, flower fields and flowing rivers no longer existed. I wanted to tell Persephone about the world... the world that is as cruel as this Hell. I wanted too, but the expression on her face wouldn't let me. Perhaps letting her continue to be naive to the chaos that already engulfed earth would keep hope alive that she could one day escape from Anung Shabah Oz because that's what she wanted. To be free like the rest of us.  
Her hope was very different from her peers.

So, I smiled, "I will continue my good works ma'am."  
She smiled shyly and nodded then peeked around my arm, "The portal's opening."  
Right behind me another zipper like black hole appeared. I stuck my finger into and felt the same void coldness like before and took a deep breathe.  
"You have any idea where I might land?"  
Persephone smiled, "Greece?"  
She placed her hand on my timidly and I reached into my jacket pocket feeling the bottle of Hennessy I had stolen.  
"Give Anung Shabah Oz this for me and tell him I said hello."

* * *

**W**hat in hell gave that woman the idea I would land in Greece? I said a swift goodbye to Persephone and stepped into the portal. I fell, letting the natural take its course and the next thing I felt was the cold rush of sea water hitting my back. I instinctively started to swim up for air and when I reached the surface I was gasping. It was about noon you could say and the water was still cold. I looked around to see hillsides in the distance and a fisherman's boat heading my way. I waved it down and two men appeared on the side, startled to see me. They helped me in, reluctantly, and I realized then that I was as far from America as I could be.

Speaking Estonian gave me a clue, I sighed shaking my head side to side.  
Finally, they got me to shore where I found a man who spoke a little English. He took me to the nearest phone and I called my connections.  
The next day a black car arrived at the inn where I stayed. Kate and Liz stepped out, their faces as white as snow.  
"Hellboy." Liz said running to embrace me. She clung to my right arm almost child-like and stayed put for several seconds. Kate looked tired and worn by worry.  
"You've been missing for four weeks Hellboy. I thought we'd lost you."

I smiled and suddenly I hugged Kate. It was one of those love interest hugs you see on cable where they hug briefly and it becomes awkward so they stop. The hug didn't last long but all I needed to say about being MIA for so long and the temptation I've endured was in that hug. She nodded and abruptly coughed, "I expect a full report. A lot of information and questions will be answered by this. I hope you received no internal or harmful injuries."  
"I didn't lift a finger ma'am."  
"So, how was Hell?" Liz asked cracking a grin.  
I grinned back, "To start off it was hot as hell could get..."


End file.
